Ayam wat Ayam

While being sick these past few days, I have had the luxury to think a lot about stuff. Mostly about my life back in SV 2 years ago: the fear and uncertainty I have in interacting with people, my tendency to criticise myself  rather than praise myself. Its like I have so much in my head, and I’m so fixated on what is in my head that I hardly have time/energy to think about what’s going on, and new thoughts and new ideas.

Something’s gotta give. Perhaps I should (there’s a should right there) stop telling myself that I should be doing something, and instead just let myself go and do what i like. I don’t even know what that means right now. But i know something’s got to change if I am scared of being posed the question, “If you have 5 years to live, what would you do?”